Ox4? Debatable.

this crazy life

2011-09-09T17:34:00.002-04:00

Job search time? Duh, I'm going home. I'm going and never leaving again. I'm working with kids! Hmmm, right. Can I tell you, I got a job alright. It's where I am now and it's totally in BFE. The shocker...it's in a HOSPICE! People dying all over the place. People crying all day. Mad and demented old people. Yeah...never would have chosen to work here and it NEVER crossed my mind. The job was sent out on our listserv and I read it and really...I swear God spoke to me. I felt like I was supposed to apply.

I applied. I didn't think anything would come of it. I emailed them my information TUesday. The email didn't say how to contact them, so I just emailed the info email on the site and asked that it be forwarded to the right department. Shot in the wind. Thursday, I got a call for an interview. I'm thinking in the next week and she asks me to come the next morning. I told my roomie she should apply...and she pointed out the part that said they needed an LCSW. Definitely didn't see that when I applied. I'm nowhere close to an LCSW. But they did call. Go to the interview and just clicked with the social workers. They asked me to come meet their director and introduced me to the staff. In addition to a few other things, I spent all weekend analyzing everything that happened. God actually gave me real peace and confidence that this was it.

Monday I'm babysitting for one of those awesome social workers I worked for. I rented our complex theatre and we watched movies. For some reason I felt like I should pay attention to my phone (it was silent) Around 1130 it rang...a strange number. The director calling to offer me the job!

If you read all that, do you understand how crazy that is!? Application to offer in less than a week! Graduation, the week before.

this is a crazy life we all live.

It's been a while!

2011-02-08T10:03:00.000-05:00

I see last time I posted I said I was going to be at a hospital. Well, I went to that interview and they hated me! (ok, maybe that's a strong word) But they did say they didn't think I was going to be a good fit. Our field supervisor did something in a timely manner for once and got me an interview with a school system. The interview was a breeze, they didn't expect me to know things about being a school social worker and the interview was mainly a "here's what you'll be doing"

I absolutely LOVE my placement this year. School social work is a little bit of everything and I get a lot of freedom, but enough supervision to feel like I know what I'm doing.

Concentration Placement

2010-03-22T19:29:00.000-04:00

We received our placements for next year. Our concentration year has us at our agencies 3 days a week and during the fall and spring semesters. Pretty intense.

Next year I'll be working at a local hospital!

I'm very excited! I have to set up my initial interview and then I'll know more.

On-call

2010-03-22T19:26:00.001-04:00

I have 40 hours to make-up this semester(due to the furloughs) so this weekend I told the on-call workers to call me when they were going out.

Sunday night rolled around and I thought I was safe. Of course, they would get a call Sunday night...of course! I get the call around 8:45, saying they need directions to my house and we're going about an hour away. Guess who we're picking up...the 14 year old from the FtM Friday. Her placement was disrupted :( The cops had been called out to the home, because her adoptive mother feared for her safety. The group included: me, the case manager, and the on-call worker.

When we got to the house Mysti had been crying and the mom had a friend over and seemed pretty calm by then. Mysti asked her mom if she would be able to come back and mom said she didn't know. When Mysti was out of the room, it seemed mom was ready for the placement to end.

We packed up her things and Mysti went and hugged her mom. It was a bittersweet moment. Mysti has always had this woman "Ms X" but last night she switched between mom and Ms X. We had about a 45 minute drive to the shelter and Mysti was very engaging. She turned on her sweetness factor and I absolutely enjoyed our time.

I saw a group home for the first time and it was a lot cozier than I thought, but still a sad place. One of Mysti's complaints about her placement was the amount of rules. I read over the rules of the shelter and all I can say is I'm sure Mysti feels a bit differently about that now. By this time it's about 12AM and Mysti is falling asleep and her CM is feeling out a 1000 page intake packet! Those things are crazy.

When we left, I asked Mysti if I could have a hug and she said ok. It was hard to leave her there.

In the car, her CM said I was falling for an act. She is more than a bit fed up with Mysti's behavior. Thinking back, it is obvious that she was acting very different than she did on Friday. She was using a kind of baby voice and fishing for affirmations all night. But I realize it's part of her coping mechanisms.

I hope when I get back to the office this week Ms X and Mysti have some sort of plan for reunification. The oncall worker commented that Mysti was just testing Ms X and Ms X failed. I hope that is not the case. It was so obvious that they both have so much love for each other. I hope it all works out...

Oh yeah...I got my official state email last week! I sent out all kinds of random emails with my account. I feel so official :)

Busy bees

2010-03-20T14:59:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago Scarlet and I went out to meet a woman living in a treatment facility with her two young children. The lady was very sweet, the kids seemed happy, and all seemed well. Thursday her CM told us that this woman had been caught not only doing drugs in the facility, but distributing them as well. Talk about surprised. I need to work on taking things at face value.

The CM was hoping the mother could move into another facility and take the kids with her. If it couldn't be arranged the kids would have been safety resourced. Fast forward to yesterday morning; as soon as we get in the office the on call foster care worker is upset. The guardian ad litem petitioned the judge to have the kids removed from the mother. So, of course it looks like DFCS lied and screwed up the case. I'm seeing how DFCS catching the flack for things that the office really has no control over. The GAL in our county often disagrees with the DFCS office, but of course it DFCS who must carry out the orders of the court.

The on-call worker felt bad about it and we had a visit at the office yesterday for the mom and her two boys. They are such a sweet little family. The mom actually went to school with the foster mother and got some comfort out of that.

Scarlet and I also go to sit in on a family team meeting. It was very different than any others I've seen. The meeting involved a 14 year old, placed in the adoptive home of a single woman. The meeting was for the young girl who had started acting out in the past few months and saying she did not want to be adopted.

The girl voiced concerns about betraying her family, not wanting to change her name, and not wanting something she felt was a permanent and legal break with her birth family - all very valid I think. The meeting lasted about 3 hours and could have gone much longer. The girl left the room a few times and shut down completely a few times when she felt like no one was listening to her. She said she just wanted to be in foster care until she was 18. By the end of the meeting; the hope was for the girl to go into respite for a while, to have a break. She seemed very excited about the idea. After the meeting we had lunch with the girl, her prospective adoptive mother, and her therapist. It was fun!

And I can't leave out the home visit I went on Thurday, where I'm sure roaches were crawling over me and there were a million dogs and cats all over the place. Delightful!

Also, made my first visit the jail. I realized I had never even been inside a jail before. It looks a lot like it does in movies.

Monday we should find out our placements for next year!

Question

2010-02-25T23:29:00.000-05:00

What is the purpose of terminating a parent's rights?

Can the same outcomes not be accomplished without legally wiping away a child's birth family?

Biting my tongue

2010-02-19T18:23:00.027-05:00

Fridays are always pretty slow in the office. Seems like a lot of people come in late or do all their traveling on Fridays. That leaves Scarlet and I begging people for jobs usually.

This morning I was able to go out with Clay. Clay is actually in our MSW program, but somehow got hired already at Sleepy County DFCS. I bow down to him for attending school full-time and working full-time...don't know how he does it!

We went out on an immediate (I'm finally learning the lingo!) Father had been arrested the might before for drug possession and someone had reported neglect of 6 month old. We initially thought no one was home, but I saw the blinds move as we were leaving (what am I becoming, lol?) This family had another precious baby...you know I had to pick him up. Home was a bit of a mess, but there was nothing horrible. Now for biting my tongue...evidently DFCS is against co-sleeping. This mom co-slept with her baby and Clay told her she would need to have a crib by his next visit.

After thinking it over, I can see DFCS requesting that a family gets a crib for naps during the day and stuff like that, but I can not ever see myself advising parents that co-sleeping in inherently dangerous and not to be done at all! I told Clay in the car that I knew families who co-slept and he looked at me like I had two heads and said "They don't know how dangerous that is?" Ugh! I looked in my manual to see if there was an official statement about co-sleeping, but could find none. I plan on asking a supervisor next week.

Today was also our field supervisor's last day, so a bunch of people from the office went out to eat. It was fun to sit and chat with everyone and get to know a few of the people I have never really worked with. I'll miss Leigh, but I know she'll be happy at her new job. Our new supervisor has not introduced herself to us or anything, but it's ok because Scarlet and I picked our own supervisor in the office!

The afternoon went by very slooowy. Scarlet admitted to me that she is thinking of getting out of her title program. A lot of my co-horts are having the government pay for school and getting a stipend and will pay it back by working at DFCS for at least 2 years. (awesome opportunity!) She feels as if DFCS takes away a lot of rights/dignity from their clients. She feels very, very uncomfortable with things like unannounced home visits (which I guess is a necessary evil) If I did work for DFCS I would definitely want to work in adoptions or family preservation. I can not see myself doing investigations at all!

Lunch & Learn

2010-02-18T12:58:00.040-05:00

Thursday at DFCS was a rather fun day :) I documented a few cases and was then invited to ride along with the adoptions worker and the BSW intern, Lavinia, (who treats the MSW interns like we have no sense...sorry had to say it!) to a lunch and learn at a rather well known Christian adoption agency. The lunch was in the big city that's located about 45 minutes from Sleepy County.

Arriving at the agency, I was amazed by how nice it was compared to the DFCS office. I even thought to myself, now I could see myself working here! We were presented with a 9 minute short on adoption and how the agency plays a role. They then served us a delicious lunch. The lunch & learn was the agencies attempt to work with DFCS counties in their area to place older foster children in families willing to adopt. There may have been around 10 counties in attendance. The agency then presented all their families who were open to adoption older children to us and we were supposed matched children with the families. It was quite an experience! I was especially touched by an older couple with a son in college. They wanted to adopt a 14-17 year old girl and help her have the opportunity to go to college. There are so many services for children in foster care to help them if they make it to college, but so many don't even get that chance.

One thing that struck me as weird: when picking race some of the families marked biracial, but not full AA. I don't really understand what the difference is. If a family is thinking they might get a lighter colored child..that might not be the case. I know biracial child who look full AA and I know full AA people who look like they could be biracial.

After our lunch and learn we went out on a few home-visits. We visited a 16 yo who is being adopted (yay!) and her 1 year old foster brother. Foster mom had quite a few kids in care, not sure how many because they weren't all there. I got to pick up the little baby and I was in love! He was so precious, I could have just taken him home.

We then had to pick up a girl for a visit with her mom. I've seen this young girl around the town: at court, been with another worker who transported her, etc and I had always thought she was a sweet teen. I learned her back story Thurs. and found out she is in foster care for DV against some of her family. Her mom wanted to speak with us alone when we dropped her off. She told Liz (adoption worker, she also has a few family preservation cases) that she was not interested in obtaining counseling services. Basically, mom told DFCS she had a certain personality disorder and DFCS put counseling and following the recommendations of the counselor in the case plan. Her daughter is in DFCS custody because she ran away from her incarceration facility (I also learned that when that happens, DFCS can take custody and all charges are dropped) Her mom felt that she shouldn't have to do all the counseling when her daughter was the one with the problem. She said she would attend family counseling and things like that, but was not interested in individual. I could definitely understand her point. I'll be interested to see how that works out though, since it is part of her case plan for her daughter to come home.

Mutiple Transitions: A Child's Point of View

2010-02-16T11:47:00.000-05:00

We watched this video in my Adoption/Foster Care class and it was very moving for me and many others in class. It's a bit long (19 minutes) and you have to read most of it...but I think it captures so much.

Snow Day!!

2010-02-13T18:47:00.000-05:00

The office closed at 3 yesterday afternoon. We didn't get much snow, but it was enough for us to close :)

This week was good. I'm enjoying my time with DFCS more and more. Scarlet & I are really good friends now, so the time passes quickly. The "real" social workers are used to having us around and have faith in our abilities now so we get to do more.

This week the foster care unit had "Filing Day" Let me tell you how fun that is! ...oh yeah, it's not! LOL.

Scarlet & I were also able to sit in on a family closing meeting. It was a mom with 5 kids. DFCS became involved because of DV and drug use. It was a happy meeting. The mom was really close to her current case manager and seemed like she was going to have a hard time with her case closing. Not something you might expect with DFCS. The meeting was a bit crazy because her 4 youngest (ages 4 & under) were there and they were wild!

It was interesting to see all her agency workers helping her to come up with support plans and plans in case she relapsed. It's good in theory, but I do wonder how much these things help when things do get bad.

I've been busy with a lot of documentation from shadowing on visits, follow up calls to schools, doctors, etc (asking them to fax records, asking them if we could please get the records we asked for 1 month ago, etc), collateral phone calls...

I'm feeling better about DFCS and possibly working for them after graduation (thanks SocialWrk24/7). I guess I have good days and bad.

It's a little awkward

2010-02-08T19:39:00.000-05:00

...when one of your classmates is a receptionist in your therapist's office...especially when she calls you about your appointment. He had already told me someone from my school worked in his office and asked if I was ok with that and I told him yes. I had no idea who it was until she stopped me in the hallway today and told me not to worry...and then she calls me this afternoon! I'm sure I made her feel uncomfortable, because when she said her name I greeted her like it was a personal phone call. She stumbled a little and proceeded in a professional fashion...oops on my part!

I also found out today that our field supervisor is leaving; she was offered a job at our university's counseling center. We're seeing the high turn over rate first hand! Not sure what they will do with us, she's one of the few MSWs in Sleepy County. I'm a little anxious to see who we'll be working with now. The only two other MSWs I know of are both case managers and fairly new...so we'll see.

DFCS is taking over my life

2010-02-05T17:41:00.000-05:00

...at least I feel like it is.

Things have been going well in Sleepy County. From my seminar class, I've learned that our counties is one of the best in terms of internships. A lot of other people in DFCS aren't doing much or the case managers don't seem to want interns coming along.

The other girl from my class, Scarlet, and I have become pretty good friends this semester. We share a little office, so I guess we were forced to become friends!

Some highlights

- Hmong family. Teacher reported a little boy said his dad had beat his mom with a vacuum cleaner. The case came into Gigi (who is becoming my favorite case manager!). The family had 8 kids (5 in elementary school, 2 in middle, 1 at home) Scarlet went with Gigi to document the younger kids' interviews and I went to the middle school.

I was very impressed by Gigi's skills. She made the kids very comfortable, chatted it up like they were old friends, and got a lot of information out with out making it seem like big scary DFCS. We also went to their home and met the parents. The mom had MS and it was very sad to see her suffering. By the end of all the interviews Gigi thought the little boy had gotten some details from a movie mixed up with real life.

- I saw a grandmother give up her rights to her grandchildren in court. She was pretty old and just felt like she couldn't handle their behaviors any more. She was so upset and it just felt so cold in the court room. She was at one table, all by herself.

- Sat in on the family team meeting for the 12 & 15 year old and their family who I met a few weeks ago. I had no idea these types of meetings took place. It was great to see how CM's and families work together to form a plan for their reunification.

- I copied an entire case file for a family who had moved to Virginia and their children were taken into care there. There were four full files. I'm sure I killed an entire forest yesterday!

- Went out an interviewed a family with a mother with a no contact bond. Daughter (17) was on the toilet screaming for toilet paper, mom got mad, a fight ensued. Mom hit daughter with a frying pan, then slapped the son. The daughter called 911, because she thought the cops would just tell them to get counseling. The cops arrested the mom. The daughter was distraught and felt like she had made a mistake. She said she was being really disrespectful...cursing her mom out and such. She thought the frying pan hit was an accident.

I've seen some crazy stories!

- I was able to attend the last day of a TPR hearing. There were three girls. (like 13, 15, 16 maybe) Abusive dad and mom wouldn't leave the dad. Neither parent showed up. All three girls really wanted to go home with their mom, but admitted they were scared of dad. I didn't get to hear the judges ruling, but DFCS, the GAL, and the CASA worker all recommended TPR.

I'm enjoying my time at DFCS, but I don't think I want to work for DFCS anymore. (Does it help that all the CM's tell me not to work there?) I would still love to do work in child welfare, but not in this capacity. I turned in my application for next year and I put the local hospital as my first choice. I've been reading about pediatric oncology social workers and thinking I might like to do that or least work in a hospital for a while.

I spoke with a professor about applying for my doctorate. I was hoping to just apply right after this, but was worried I would need experience. She confirmed that, but said she had some good resources for me. I'm meeting with her this coming week, so we shall see how it goes!

Concentration

2010-01-17T00:09:00.000-05:00

Next year we will be at the same agency 3 days a week, all year long.

We have much more say in this process.

I honestly have NO idea where I want to be. I did not anticipate getting DFCS this year, because I really wanted. I was sure I would end up at DFCS next year.

I'm thinking of mental health for next year? I would love to be in an ER, but I've heard that is not possible. I need to check on that.

Any ideas for good areas? Our applications are due in February, so soon!

Lazy Fridays

2010-01-16T23:51:00.000-05:00

Not much was happening in the office this Friday.

I did a lot of sitting around and feeling guilty for not doing anything. I spent the first half of the morning filling out paperwork to get birth certificates and social security cards for children in care. Fun stuff right here, I tell ya!

I sat in on a meeting with Leigh, her supervisor, and a case manager with a client. The client was a woman with many mental disorders. She mentioned schizophrenia. DFCS has been involved in her family for about 6 months. This particular meeting was informing here that if she didn't take care of a few things, DFCS would be seeking a court order to have her do them. Her children need some types of medical treatment and she had canceled all the appointments that had been set up. They told her she had until Feb. 15 to have the childrens' appointments done and they would be taking her to court.

It was a sad situation all around because she had no form of transportation and said she was about to be kicked out of her house. Her friend had agreed to let her two kids stay with her, but the client and her fiance are likely about to be homeless. Sigh.

I then met Neville. Neville is actually an MSW student as well and in my adoption and foster care class. He is advanced standing though (he has a BSW, so we graduates with his MSW in a year) In addition to being in school full time, he works for Sleepy County DFCS. Dedication right there. He in an investigator, so he took me out to investigate. We were going to Tia's home. Neville had been out to Tia's home quite a few times (the first time she actually told him she was the babysitter, lol) Tia and her husband had split up and the three kids lived with both of them. Someone made a report that Tia's trailer had drug needles in the sink, the kids were unsupervised, and that her daughter's teeth were rotten and falling out.

Tia greeted us and the two youngest kids were outside playing. Her daughter's teeth were definitely rotten and falling out. The children did look dirty and unkempt. Neville asked me in the car if I thought Tia was high and I said no. I did admit that I don't know what people look/act like when they're high. Neville was trying to get the name of the dentist that Tia said had seen her children. She said she had been to the dentist and that he told her that she would just have to wait until the rotten teeth fell out. She didn't have much time to talk because she was needing to get her oldest son off the bus.

She promised Neville that she would get a ride to the DFCS office as soon as her son got off the bus. She needed to sign up for food stamps and medicaid and answer a few questions for Neville. Neville didn't think she would show up; we had a little bet. I was sure Tia was coming in. And she did. I was able to sit in on the meeting.

I'm getting tired, I'll have to write more on my reactions and thoughts tomorrow. I think I got most of what happened down.

Emergancy placement

2010-01-14T23:28:00.000-05:00

I think I'm going to be on my own this semester at DFCS. I do what I want! Seriously, I just walk around and ask people if I can go with them or what they're doing or why they're doing that or can I read your case files? Some of my classmates talked about how their whole day is planned out and it's all very structured - not me!

I arrived this morning a little late - around 8:35. I keep forgetting that my car is going to have an inch of ice on it in the morning and then I took a wrong turn. I don't know if I'll ever be able to put the GPS to rest. I was so worried about being late and then neither one of my supervisors were there yet. Leigh showed up and told me Isla was home sick with her son. She sent me to hang out with Rose. Rose just started in November and is very cheery and sweet. My favorite kind of person. We chatted a bit about her current case, but she admitted that her day was probably going to be pretty boring. Then Leigh came back and said that Nia was going on an immediate and I could go with her. I asked what an immediate was and quickly responded with...WELL DUH! It means you have to immediately go to the site.

We loaded up in Nia's nice big SUV and quickly got very lost. We had an address that was something like 23C Yourstreet. Well we found 23 Yoursteet and knocked and no one answered. We asked the neighbor if he knew where this person lived. He pointed us to a house up the road, we knock and he points us to a couple of duplexes. It's amazing how people know each other!

When we pull up a police officer steps outside and tells us what is going on. Mariah, a 16 year old girl, has been arrested. Mariah is no stranger to the police and the officer tells us that he hopes she will be gone for a long time. Mariah's 2 year old son is being raised be her mother. I think Mariah was arrested for beating her mother, I'm not too clear on that though. But to get back at her mother, Mariah told the officers that she didn't want her mom to keep her son. Luckily the baby's father was involved and his mother took custody of the child for the time being. Mariah's mom was crying and you could tell she loved the little one so much. It was a pretty short visit, Nia just copied down the paternal grandmothers information and then we left.

When late afternoon rolled around a foster care placement case manager (Lucy) called Emile and told him that I was going to need to find a placement for a sibling group who had come into custody that morning. The children had been removed from the duplex right next to Mariah's house - what a coincidence. I was freaking out at this point, because I felt like they were leaving these kids' lives in my hands and that I was not qualified to take on such a huge responsibility. But, I have to learn sometime! I was given a list of private agencies (I had actually already tried all the foster homes in Sleepy County. [I'm going to call the county Sleepy, because I don't think much ever happens there] The little was tiny and rather pitiful. I think the oldest age on the list was about 11)

Conversations went something like this-

Hi, this is Private Agency Whatever

Hi - I'm Hazel - with Sleepy County DFCS. I'm calling about an emergency placement for a 12 year old girl and a 15 year old boy.

Oh, well they're a little too old. We might be have a home for the girl, but not the boy. I'll call you back in 30 minutes.
Well, they're great kids. They have no known behavioral issues and we really need them to stay together. They are in court right now and we really need a placement for them for tonight.
NO BEHAVIORAL ISSUES! Are you lying to me!?
No, I promise I'm not ;)

Well why were they taken into care?
Neglect & parents' substance abuse

Around and around. Questions that caught me off guard: Will the children mind being in a black foster home? (they were white) and How big is the boy?

Eventually, I was able to find two homes for them! YAY :) Unfortunately, the closest (where the CM took them) was about 30 minutes away. Not only were the kids going into care, they were going to have to go to a new school in a new city.

I went out with Lucy to the home of the children. When we got there, the building manager had to let us all in. Our group consisted of Harry (the investigator), Lucy (foster care), me, and the sister of the children (age 19) and her boyfriend. The kids didn't even get to pack up their own stuff.

The house was....filthy and sad. No place I would ever want to live, but it was their home and I was sad that they had to leave it. Since we were not the homeowners, the building manager told us we could only take clothes. The boy really wanted to take his XBOX, but we were told we wouldn't be able to take it from the house. There were no suit cases, clothes were carried out by hand and piled into Lucy's car. After we had been there about 20 minutes, the parents arrived in the grandmother's truck.

The parents really touched me. They were incredibly sweet and worried and open and...just like anyone you might meet on the street. The dad was worried about the placement and Lucy told him that I had found a home for the kids. He thanked me profusely and asked if there were other children in the home. I assured him that his children were the only ones there and he was thankful once again. He said he had grown up in the system and knew what could happen when you got a bunch of foster children in one home.

Hmm, I asked Emile about workers being foster parents. He seemed surprised by the question and said that he didn't think most people who worked in DFCS would want to be foster parents because they see enough at the office.

Big Mama

2010-01-12T21:15:00.000-05:00

When I saw that we would be watching Big Mama during my first class, I immediately wondered what Big Mama's House had to do with social work.

Big Mama, Viola Dees had everything to do with social work.

Big Mama follows 18 months in the lives of Viola Dees, an African American grandmother, and Walter, her grandson, as she tries to raise him alone in South Central Los Angeles. Dees has taken care of Walter since the age of four, when his father (Viola's son) died. Walter appears in the documentary as bright and sweetly loving to his grandmother, but also profoundly troubled, affected by his mother's prenatal drug intake. In the documentary, Walter is nine, and Dees is turning 90.
Big Mama

I've never thought too much about grandparents as primary caregivers. I can't say much about the film, except that it moved me to tears. I'm beginning to learn there is no right and wrong in this field...and sometimes nothing is best. I had a feeling of hopelessness while watching the film; Walter had no where to go. His grandmother was dying, his family wasn't equipped to take him, etc. Just a stream of bads in the life of a boy so young.

I feel like the more we learn, the less answers there are. Such is life...

The Dreaded Question

2010-01-08T13:22:00.002-05:00

After yesterday, I have decided this is one of the worst questions to ask someone - and I heard it a lot.

"Hey Hazel, would you feel comfortable __________"

What exactly am I supposed to say? Obviously it was something ridiculous, I would say no.

But in this case:

1. It is my first day. Of course I don't feel comfortable doing it. I don't feel comfortable doing anything, because I don't know how! Because it is my first day. Because I don't know what to say to call a doctor's office and ask about a baby.
2. If I say no, what are you going to think of me.
3. There really is nothing better for me to do

The answer I gave many times yesterday - Sure, if you show me how!

Whirlwind!

2010-01-07T23:49:00.001-05:00

Today was very first day as a social worker. Kind of!

* remember names are always from my imagination :)

Overall, I would rate my first day as a 7. Considering, Leigh (my contact supervisor) didn't tell anyone we would be starting today, I did get to see a lot.

The county I am working in is about 20 miles away. So of course, in my head I calculate that it will probably take me about 45 minutes to get there and I'll probably want to be early just to make a good impression. Right? Wrong! I sat in my car for almost an hour, waiting for Leigh. I finally called her cell close to 8:30 and she didn't answer. She did drive up about 10 minutes later though.

When we walked in the office - she confirmed that I wanted to do mostly foster care. In walks Isla. I am immediately handed over to Isla who is going to court for the day. Joy! We chat a bit in the car and arrive at the courthouse. It's quite an impressive building and when I commented on it she told that it had just opened in April. Fancy stuff!

Our first order of the day was an adoption finalization. Isla had placed six different children in the home of a single mom and she was going to be finalizing the adoption of the last one that day. She was very excited and I could tell this was one of those cases for her. You know, one where it's not just client/social worker, but a friendship. Well this family breaks stereotype number 1 in my little world. In walks this lady with 6 little white kids. I know there are Caucasian children in foster care, but I don't think I have ever seen a picture/met a family who had this many foster kids and not one of them be a minority. The finalization took all of 5 minutes. Isla cried.

Then we sat in the lobby for a good hour waiting to be called for a case. The case is called. From what I could tell it involved 3 sisters. Sister3 was homeless and had signed over rights to Sister1. Sister1 wanted to sign those rights over to Sister2. It came to light, that though the court had sent a letter to Sister3 to notify her of the meeting (and Sisters 1&2 had talked to Sister3 - so she knew about the meeting) the letter had not been sent certified. It was sent 1st class. And since Sister3 signed over her rights voluntarily they needed her to switch them.

After this we went back to the office. I ate lunch with another worker and sat around her office for about 2.5 hours not doing much.

Then I was given to Emile (sociology undergrad too!) We had the most fun. He was very talkative and engaging. We went to sit in on a school meeting. The meeting was about the Winters. Mr/Mrs Winter are an older couple who had no children. They were granted custody of three cousins (6,7,8). They voluntarily gave up their rights when they couldn't handle the children's behavior. They did a case plan and regained rights in the fall. Mr. Winter was not in the meeting. Mrs. Winter is a very stubborn woman. I can think of no other ways to describe her.

We met in the principals office and there were SO many people there. Each teacher, counselor, 3 interns, teacher's aide, IEP lady, district rep, principal, social worker, and kids' therapist. Right off the bat - the tension was heavy. I was APPALLED at how the teachers and school counselor treated Mrs. Winters. There was a light of sighs, eye rolls, talking under their breaths, etc. One teacher stormed out in the middle of the meeting with a loud door slam.

Many issues were discussed, but I think the main reason nothing was getting accomplished was because the school did not think the Winters' were fit parents.There was so much going on, I don't even think I could list it all. Mrs. W didn't want to teachers to give the kids a snack if they had eaten their snack from home on the bus or if she didn't send one. The teachers didn't think that was fair. Mrs. Winters didn't want the teachers to hug the children, because she is trying to teach them proper boundaries. Compromise was made to offer side hugs and make sure the children ask before. Mrs. Winters has to deal with a lot of sexual behaviors at home that the children aren't usually displaying at school - so she sends them to school with punishments. Teachers don't think it's fair. Just around and around and around. With little respect, nothing much was accomplished. I too, would be defensive if my child's teacher was implying that they have to feed my child because I am not.

Though I was amazed at the lack of respect towards Mrs. Winter, it was easy to see why the teachers were behaving that way. Mrs. W kept bringing up past offenses (like from the last school year) of things she didn't like. Even after the therapist explained to her that keeping snacks away from kids who hoard isn't going to help, she still didn't want to let the kids have two snacks, etc. etc.

I caught a glimpse of the kids on the way back to the car and they were beautiful :) Hard to imagine they had been through so much.

When we arrived back at the office I was able to read a few of the files Isla was closing. Awful.

I don't really have many thoughts about today yet. Though I did post a facebook message after work about not being sure I was cut out for the job. I need to think back on the day and what made me feel that way. I know a lot of it had to be with being assertive, something I know I need to work on.

I also discovered I have severe phone phobia! I HATE making a phone call with other people in the room. At one point I had to make some calls to ensure an infant was being taken to his well baby exams. That was hard work in an office full of people!

I know this probably doesn't make much sense, but I wanted to get something down before I forgot the details of today. If you made it through this far, I am sorry for going on and on!

Change

2009-12-09T17:54:00.001-05:00

I love this song :)

Almost there

2009-12-03T16:57:00.000-05:00

Did my last presentation today.

My research paper on adoption and first mothers is due Tuesday at 12. After that, I AM HOME FREE. I'm flying home on the 16th for the holidays.

Next semester, I have two electives: Forensic Social Work and Adoption & Foster Care. Required classes...I can't remember. LOL, sad I know.

This program as definitely been a learning experience. I snickered at orientation when they talked about how we would come to know ourselves in a different light. So true. Coming from such a closed minded under-graduate school and city, it's been eye-opening to me to see people who are so different from me in class. It's forced me to think about how I really feel. I've had many debates in my head about my beliefs and why I believe what I believe. If certain beliefs are actually biblical or just someone's interpretation. I've had to learn how to take my own beliefs out of the equation, when it comes to other people. In that case, it doesn't matter what I think is right or wrong. Harder to do than I thought.

I think everyone should have to take some social work classes and get uncomfortable, it's good for you!

Thankful

2009-11-26T16:36:00.002-05:00

Today I am thankful for -

I stumbled up Francesca after hearing "It's my Life" being played in the Jon & Kate Plus 8 finale commercials. I downloaded that one song and a friend asked me if I had heard her others. I had not,so I did a bit of research. I have been listening to her entire CD non-stop for the past few days. It is that good!

If you like Christian music, I would highly suggest it for this holiday season :)

I have been enjoying my week off and I can't believe it's almost over. I have done a whole lot of nothing. I'm here by myself, but I have been enjoying it. I've seen quite a few movies this week and it's been fun to entertain myself.

Only 2 more weeks of this semester left!

I changed my blog again, lol. But this time, I did the whole template. I love it, but I did lose all my widgets in the process. Hopefully I'll be able to get at least my bloglists back up soon.

Here's a link to a list of free blogger background/template sites: http://butterflygirlmsblogdesigns-designers.blogspot.com/

Mine came from: http://lenatoewsdesigns.blogspot.com/search/label/detailed%20templates

Overhaul

2009-11-17T17:46:00.001-05:00

of this blog.

Learned about wordle over on Eyes Opened Wider.

My header is supposed to be all thew words from the song, Hazel by Bob Dylan.

Hazel, dirty blonde hair
I wouldn't be ashamed to be seen with you anywhere
You got something I want plenty of
Ooh, a little touch of your love.

Hazel, stardust in your eye
You're going somewhere and so am I
I'd give you the sky high above
Ooh, for a touch of your love.

Oh no, I don't need any reminder
To know how much I really care
But it's just making me blinder and blinder
Because I am up on the hill and still you're not there.

Hazel, you called and I came
Now don't make me play this waiting game
You've got something I want plenty of
Ooh, a little touch of your love.

I don't know why it's not centered - but I guess it will do.

DFCS

2009-11-16T13:56:00.000-05:00

Today I went to meet my field supervisor for next semester, I'll call her Leigh.

The drive over wasn't too bad. It took me about 25 minutes, so while not the worse, I'll definitely be watching my money a little more closely next semester. I was surprised to see a lot of the county offices on the same street. (Mental Health, Head Start(would have loved to be placed here!), DFCS, Sr. Citizens Outreach, etc.)

The DFCS offices are spread out over a couple of buildings and my supervisor was in the back. She was a very sweet woman and graduated from my program about 5 years ago. She asked me if I was more interested in CPS or foster care/adoption and I told her foster care.

She told me a little about their program and how it is heavily based on reunification and the integration of foster families and birth families. In most cases foster families and birth families work together on issues concerning the child. She also said they have come a long way in how many children they have in foster care. A few years ago it was around 200 and now it's down to about 60.

I'll be shadowing people mostly. Going out to inspect foster care homes, going to court, going to visit children in group homes or hospitals, attending treatment meetings, etc. Possibly even going along for the removal of children from their homes...don't know if I'm ready for that!

I'm very excited and I got a really good vibe from Leigh. I'll be there Thursdays and Fridays from around 8:30-5. A few of those Fridays are furloughs, so yay!

She mentioned that they were able to hire both their 2nd year interns from last year. That sent a "Would I stay in this state if they offered me a job?!" through my head. I don't think I want to stay here though. If it was the only offer I received, I guess it wouldn't be smart to turn it down. But I really want to move back to my home state when I'm done with this program. That is a year and a half away...so I've got time!

November, you say?!

2009-11-07T16:39:00.002-05:00

I can't believe I've made it this far!

First semester of school almost over. Classes have been going well.

We were finally assigned our placements for next semester. I will be working in DFCS, in a county about 30 minutes away from where I live. I'm excited, nervous, anxious, unprepared, etc. I tried calling my contact yesterday with no luck. I'll have to try back on Monday. Quite a few of my friends are in DFCS as well, so I'm sure I'll have plenty of people the talk with.

Added a new member to the fam yesterday...hoping I don't regret this, lol! Fin is giving me a run for my money.

LCSW Exam

2009-10-17T23:47:00.000-04:00

The thought of this exam terrifies me.

I'm attending school in a state that's not my home, but I plan on moving back home to work. I hope that won't be a problem when registering for the test/preparation.

None of our professors have talked too much about this test, so I need to do some research on it. I didn't even know about this until about a month into the program!

My first award :)

2009-10-11T15:11:00.001-04:00

EVER!
Thanks so much Eyes Opened Wider. I am so thankful for your friendship!

This award comes with a few rules; Copy and paste this onto a new post in your blog. Write your own answers to the questions below. Remember -you can only use one word answers! (It is just too hard for some answers!) Pass this along to 6 of your favorite bloggers by including their links! Post on your blog. Alert them that you have given them this award. Simple. So go ahead get started.... Have Fun!

___________________________________________

Where is your cell phone? Friend's.

Your hair? Messy

Your mother? Funny

Your father? Thoughtful

Your favorite food? Anything

Your dream last night? none

Your favorite drink? Tea

Your dream/goal? Family

What room are you in? Living

Your hobby? reading

Your Fear? Alone

Where do you want to be in 6 years? Married

Where were you last night? Movie

Something that you aren’t? Serious

Muffins? Sometimes

Wish list item? Wardrobe

Where did you grow up? South

Last thing you did? ate

What are you wearing? Tshirt

Your TV? TLC

Your pets? None

Friends? Love

Your life? Full

Your mood? Relaxed

Missing someone? yes

Vehicle? Clean

Something you’re not wearing? Pants!

Your favorite store? Target

Your favorite color? Yellow

When was the last time you laughed? GoldenGirls

Last time you cried? night

One place that I go to over and over? School

One person who emails me regularly? School

Favorite place to eat? Red Lobster

I'll nominate:

Anti-socialworker

Fighting Monsters

Everybody's Mom

Not sure that anyone else read's this ;)

Foster Care.

2009-10-08T19:00:00.001-04:00

Is it typical/ethical/acceptable for social workers to be foster parents?

I ask because my interest in social work came from my desire to be a foster parents. I hope I don't have to give that up.

I've never come across a social worker who had foster kids...

Another week -

2009-10-08T18:07:00.003-04:00

down.

I met with my advisor today to turn in a preliminary schedule for next semester. In addition to 15 hours, we will be in an agency from 8-5 two days a week. I hear it's a tough time! I'm a bit nervous about the workload(I'm also a graduate assistant, so two jobs!), but I realize I'm not the first or the only one going through this. I chose Adoption and Foster Care and Forensic Social Work as my two electives. Hopefully I'll be able to get them.

I'm interested to see the perspective the adoption class is taught from. I'm hoping to research the other side of adoption in my research class, but I'm not having much luck. No one seems to be writing articles (I should say, peer reviewed) about adoption agency coercion, regrets about relinquishment, long term effects of adoption on birth parents, or why there isn't more emphasis on preserving natural families. I'll keep on searching though...

I have a hard time explaining to people what I mean when I say I am interested in adoption. Of course, EVERYONE gushes and smiles and tells me they want to work in adoptions too or that it sounds so fun. And I have to explain...no, that's not what I'm talking about. Then I fumble around with words like regrets, coercion, adoption not usually necessary, permanent solutions, etc...and most people just nod and walk away. I feel like no one else is interested. Are there even agencies that operate from a standpoint of empowering first mothers to parent? I don't know...hopefully this adoption/foster professor will have some answers.

We had a guest speak who is the director of a mental health program at a large hospital today. I never thought I would be interested in working in this area, but after today I might look into that.

Jani - Childhood Schizophrenia

2009-10-07T15:59:00.000-04:00

http://www.nowpublic.com/health/jani-schofield-childhood-schizophrenia-living-illness

I didn't see Jani on Oprah, but a friend told me about her and I looked up videos and articles all last night.

I can not imagine the amount of effort these parents are putting forth to keep their child alive. I can't imagine the amount of medication she is on(her dad talks about swallowing the other half of one of her dosages and it almost knocked him out).

There's so much to process in this story...

Methadonia

2009-10-02T11:49:00.000-04:00

We watched Methadonia in my policy class yesterday.

I was mesmerized...I don't know if that's quite the right word.

But in every clip I saw, I realized....I have NO idea what drug addiction, withdrawal, clinics, etc. look like. What happens when a person goes through withdrawal? The only image I come up with is Mimi in RENT. Is that even accurate? I don't quite understand why Methadone is ok to use, the documentary seemed to be saying that it was just another addiction, but safer, I guess.

Before this, I didn't even know Methadone was used for heroin addiction...when I say clueless. I mean - clueless.

The more I learn, the more I feel like I don't know. I didn't know you could die from withdrawal. I had no idea what nodding was or benzos. I would love to see the entire documentary and form some kind of knowledgeable opinion on all of these issues. I'll have to check netflix.

End of the Week.

2009-10-02T11:39:00.000-04:00

I'm finally feeling like this place is home.
I moved about 16 hours from where I'm from. New state. New people. New school.

But finally after almost 3 months here, I think I'll be alright :)

We had a potluck at cohort's home last night. It was the first time a big group of us had hung out, outside of class. It was great to see everyone dressed up and "fancy-free". It feels good to be among your own and people who understand your career.

We turned in all our application materials yesterday (for our practicum). We register for next semester in about 2 weeks. I feel like this semester has flown by and we'll finally be doing something! We had to fill out a form about places we wouldn't feel comfortable working, which everyone jokes is really asking us because they will put us there. We'll see if that's the case. I put that I did not want to work in a prison or any kind of halfway house. I guess if I did have to work in a place to get me out of my comfort zone, I would rather it be there now than in my concentration all year.

I've recently become interested in social work in hospitals, specifically oncology. I need to do some more research into it though. We have groups present hot topics in our Human Behavior class and last week a group did one on suburban youth. It wasn't news to me, I work at a camp with these kids every summer. I would even venture to guess that some of the stats for drugs, sex, alcohol, etc. might even be higher than those of urban youth. My dream job would be to work in private schools with these youth. But I know it will never happen, because these rich kids don't have any problems, right?

Law and Order SVU

2009-09-30T19:11:00.000-04:00

I have loved SVU for years now. But lately, episodes can send me to tears and leave me thinking about characters for hours after the show ends.

Some of my favorite episodes, I can't wait at all...the one with the little boy who kills his toddler neighbor. Is labeled a sociopath and deemed untreatable. Killed by the father of the little boy he tortured/killed. Because he knows the boy will kill again and fill no regret.

Can't do it.

I just watched one where an abusive husband kills his wife. It's later revealed that the downstairs neighbor killed her abusive husband 25 years before and has been on the run since then...the way she tells her story is heartbreaking.

I'm guessing this is happening now because I know I'm about to be thrown into a world where these are just fictional characters. The abused wife will be a client. The little boy who feels no regret will count on me to do what's best.

I won't be able to turn off the TV and forget about these people. They'll be real.

I don't know if I'll be able to handle SVU much longer...we'll see.

PS - thank you for all the kind feedback!

Role-playing

2009-09-28T19:28:00.000-04:00

We worked on therapy sessions today.

It was quite interesting. I've thought about counseling for some time. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it though. I've been in therapy twice and though it helped...I feel as if a person can always be in therapy. There's always more to work, always something you're holding back, always something in the past holding you back...

It's so hard to gain someone's trust. What makes me worthy of that trust?

We play our videos next week and will get feedback from the class. They only had to be 10 minutes, so we didn't have a chance to do much and of course it was easy to figure out everyone's problem in those 10 little minutes.

If only it could all be so easy...

In a helping profession...

2009-09-27T12:38:00.000-04:00

and someone leaves you helpless.

A fellow student, one I actually know, was in a hit and run this past Tuesday. She was running before class and a car hit her. Since she had no ID, no one knew who she was for 30 hours.

I know I would be devastated if I hit someone and maybe...leaving would cross my mind. But I don't think I could ever actually leave someone on the side of the rode.

Next semester we will be in our placements and I know I will probably feel helpless at times. I feel like we're going to be thrown in, head first, sink or swim. A lot of things are rushing through my mind: I'm not old enough for this. I don't look old enough for this. People aren't going to take me seriously; clients or coworkers. etc.

In my Human Behavior class we were analyzing a case in which a client was in a facility for 2 months and admitted in an evaluation that she had been sexually abused. Our professor's point was up until that point, the social worker was not really considered a part of the team. Not seen as equal. Happens a lot evidently....

Hello world!

2009-09-26T23:39:00.000-04:00

Hello world was the first output we had in my high school computer science class. I figure it fits here too.

I'm brand spankin' new to the field of social work. I'm scared out of my mind...and excited.

Right now we are in our first round of classes, 5 to be exact. Next semester we will be spending 16 hours a week in the field, in addition to a few classes.

I'm feeling quite unprepared for next semester and a real burden of responsibility. I mean, these are people's lives we're talking about!