"We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, students, and business owners. We have depression, DID, PTSD, eating disorders, borderline personalities, bipolar disorder, or maybe no formal diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some were not. We are straight, bi, and gay. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every single race or religion that you can possibly think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks."
I came across this quote on a facebook group tonight and it really touched my heart.
I was...am a self-injurer. I don't know if you've ever cured from it. I might be something I deal with for the rest of my life. I don't know. I haven't self-injured in probably a year, maybe a little more.
But the thing that got me about this quote is that I guarantee that 99% of the people I know don't know this about me and would NEVER guess it.
There is such a stigma around this issue. You hear 'cutter'
and a lot of people think: goth. dark music. moody. dark clothes. unpopular.
Or: attention seeker. bored teenager.
Sure some may fall into that category, but not all of us.
I was the popular kid in school. I was the happy one. I was always laughing, always optimistic. I had plenty of friends. People liked me. And I was a cutter.
I didn't do it for attention.
I wasn't trying to kill myself.
I was not bored.
I had a crappy home life and no emotional support. I didn't know how to express my emotions and they came out by cutting. It was just the only way I knew how to feel and deal with what I was feeling.
The person who works next to you may be cutting. Your close friend might be. The teenager down the street. The dad at the grocery store. Your boss. The nurse. Anyone.
We never know what people are going through. Smile at everyone. Wish them a good day. Say thank you. Ask how someone is doing. Simple words can do so much in someone's life. They may hold onto your kind words for hours, or days, or weeks, or months. Just to know someone cared enough.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
My first award :)
EVER!
Thanks so much Eyes Opened Wider. I am so thankful for your friendship!
Where is your cell phone? Friend's.
Your hair? Messy
Your mother? Funny
Your father? Thoughtful
Your favorite food? Anything
Your dream last night? none
Your favorite drink? Tea
Your dream/goal? Family
What room are you in? Living
Your hobby? reading
Your Fear? Alone
Where do you want to be in 6 years? Married
Where were you last night? Movie
Something that you aren’t? Serious
Muffins? Sometimes
Wish list item? Wardrobe
Where did you grow up? South
Last thing you did? ate
What are you wearing? Tshirt
Your TV? TLC
Your pets? None
Friends? Love
Your life? Full
Your mood? Relaxed
Missing someone? yes
Vehicle? Clean
Something you’re not wearing? Pants!
Your favorite store? Target
Your favorite color? Yellow
When was the last time you laughed? GoldenGirls
Last time you cried? night
One place that I go to over and over? School
One person who emails me regularly? School
Favorite place to eat? Red Lobster
Thanks so much Eyes Opened Wider. I am so thankful for your friendship!
This award comes with a few rules; Copy and paste this onto a new post in your blog. Write your own answers to the questions below. Remember -you can only use one word answers! (It is just too hard for some answers!) Pass this along to 6 of your favorite bloggers by including their links! Post on your blog. Alert them that you have given them this award. Simple. So go ahead get started.... Have Fun!
___________________________________________
Where is your cell phone? Friend's.
Your father? Thoughtful
Your favorite food? Anything
Your dream last night? none
Your favorite drink? Tea
Your dream/goal? Family
What room are you in? Living
Your hobby? reading
Your Fear? Alone
Where do you want to be in 6 years? Married
Where were you last night? Movie
Something that you aren’t? Serious
Muffins? Sometimes
Wish list item? Wardrobe
Where did you grow up? South
Last thing you did? ate
What are you wearing? Tshirt
Your TV? TLC
Your pets? None
Friends? Love
Your life? Full
Your mood? Relaxed
Missing someone? yes
Vehicle? Clean
Something you’re not wearing? Pants!
Your favorite color? Yellow
When was the last time you laughed? GoldenGirls
Last time you cried? night
One place that I go to over and over? School
One person who emails me regularly? School
Favorite place to eat? Red Lobster
I'll nominate:
Not sure that anyone else read's this ;)
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Foster Care.
Is it typical/ethical/acceptable for social workers to be foster parents?
I ask because my interest in social work came from my desire to be a foster parents. I hope I don't have to give that up.
I've never come across a social worker who had foster kids...
I ask because my interest in social work came from my desire to be a foster parents. I hope I don't have to give that up.
I've never come across a social worker who had foster kids...
Another week -
down.
I met with my advisor today to turn in a preliminary schedule for next semester. In addition to 15 hours, we will be in an agency from 8-5 two days a week. I hear it's a tough time! I'm a bit nervous about the workload(I'm also a graduate assistant, so two jobs!), but I realize I'm not the first or the only one going through this. I chose Adoption and Foster Care and Forensic Social Work as my two electives. Hopefully I'll be able to get them.
I'm interested to see the perspective the adoption class is taught from. I'm hoping to research the other side of adoption in my research class, but I'm not having much luck. No one seems to be writing articles (I should say, peer reviewed) about adoption agency coercion, regrets about relinquishment, long term effects of adoption on birth parents, or why there isn't more emphasis on preserving natural families. I'll keep on searching though...
I have a hard time explaining to people what I mean when I say I am interested in adoption. Of course, EVERYONE gushes and smiles and tells me they want to work in adoptions too or that it sounds so fun. And I have to explain...no, that's not what I'm talking about. Then I fumble around with words like regrets, coercion, adoption not usually necessary, permanent solutions, etc...and most people just nod and walk away. I feel like no one else is interested. Are there even agencies that operate from a standpoint of empowering first mothers to parent? I don't know...hopefully this adoption/foster professor will have some answers.
We had a guest speak who is the director of a mental health program at a large hospital today. I never thought I would be interested in working in this area, but after today I might look into that.
I met with my advisor today to turn in a preliminary schedule for next semester. In addition to 15 hours, we will be in an agency from 8-5 two days a week. I hear it's a tough time! I'm a bit nervous about the workload(I'm also a graduate assistant, so two jobs!), but I realize I'm not the first or the only one going through this. I chose Adoption and Foster Care and Forensic Social Work as my two electives. Hopefully I'll be able to get them.
I'm interested to see the perspective the adoption class is taught from. I'm hoping to research the other side of adoption in my research class, but I'm not having much luck. No one seems to be writing articles (I should say, peer reviewed) about adoption agency coercion, regrets about relinquishment, long term effects of adoption on birth parents, or why there isn't more emphasis on preserving natural families. I'll keep on searching though...
I have a hard time explaining to people what I mean when I say I am interested in adoption. Of course, EVERYONE gushes and smiles and tells me they want to work in adoptions too or that it sounds so fun. And I have to explain...no, that's not what I'm talking about. Then I fumble around with words like regrets, coercion, adoption not usually necessary, permanent solutions, etc...and most people just nod and walk away. I feel like no one else is interested. Are there even agencies that operate from a standpoint of empowering first mothers to parent? I don't know...hopefully this adoption/foster professor will have some answers.
We had a guest speak who is the director of a mental health program at a large hospital today. I never thought I would be interested in working in this area, but after today I might look into that.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Jani - Childhood Schizophrenia
http://www.nowpublic.com/health/jani-schofield-childhood-schizophrenia-living-illness
I didn't see Jani on Oprah, but a friend told me about her and I looked up videos and articles all last night.
I can not imagine the amount of effort these parents are putting forth to keep their child alive. I can't imagine the amount of medication she is on(her dad talks about swallowing the other half of one of her dosages and it almost knocked him out).
There's so much to process in this story...
Friday, October 2, 2009
Methadonia
We watched Methadonia in my policy class yesterday.
I was mesmerized...I don't know if that's quite the right word.
But in every clip I saw, I realized....I have NO idea what drug addiction, withdrawal, clinics, etc. look like. What happens when a person goes through withdrawal? The only image I come up with is Mimi in RENT. Is that even accurate? I don't quite understand why Methadone is ok to use, the documentary seemed to be saying that it was just another addiction, but safer, I guess.
Before this, I didn't even know Methadone was used for heroin addiction...when I say clueless. I mean - clueless.
The more I learn, the more I feel like I don't know. I didn't know you could die from withdrawal. I had no idea what nodding was or benzos. I would love to see the entire documentary and form some kind of knowledgeable opinion on all of these issues. I'll have to check netflix.
I was mesmerized...I don't know if that's quite the right word.
But in every clip I saw, I realized....I have NO idea what drug addiction, withdrawal, clinics, etc. look like. What happens when a person goes through withdrawal? The only image I come up with is Mimi in RENT. Is that even accurate? I don't quite understand why Methadone is ok to use, the documentary seemed to be saying that it was just another addiction, but safer, I guess.
Before this, I didn't even know Methadone was used for heroin addiction...when I say clueless. I mean - clueless.
The more I learn, the more I feel like I don't know. I didn't know you could die from withdrawal. I had no idea what nodding was or benzos. I would love to see the entire documentary and form some kind of knowledgeable opinion on all of these issues. I'll have to check netflix.
End of the Week.
I'm finally feeling like this place is home.
I moved about 16 hours from where I'm from. New state. New people. New school.
But finally after almost 3 months here, I think I'll be alright :)
We had a potluck at cohort's home last night. It was the first time a big group of us had hung out, outside of class. It was great to see everyone dressed up and "fancy-free". It feels good to be among your own and people who understand your career.
We turned in all our application materials yesterday (for our practicum). We register for next semester in about 2 weeks. I feel like this semester has flown by and we'll finally be doing something! We had to fill out a form about places we wouldn't feel comfortable working, which everyone jokes is really asking us because they will put us there. We'll see if that's the case. I put that I did not want to work in a prison or any kind of halfway house. I guess if I did have to work in a place to get me out of my comfort zone, I would rather it be there now than in my concentration all year.
I've recently become interested in social work in hospitals, specifically oncology. I need to do some more research into it though. We have groups present hot topics in our Human Behavior class and last week a group did one on suburban youth. It wasn't news to me, I work at a camp with these kids every summer. I would even venture to guess that some of the stats for drugs, sex, alcohol, etc. might even be higher than those of urban youth. My dream job would be to work in private schools with these youth. But I know it will never happen, because these rich kids don't have any problems, right?
I moved about 16 hours from where I'm from. New state. New people. New school.
But finally after almost 3 months here, I think I'll be alright :)
We had a potluck at cohort's home last night. It was the first time a big group of us had hung out, outside of class. It was great to see everyone dressed up and "fancy-free". It feels good to be among your own and people who understand your career.
We turned in all our application materials yesterday (for our practicum). We register for next semester in about 2 weeks. I feel like this semester has flown by and we'll finally be doing something! We had to fill out a form about places we wouldn't feel comfortable working, which everyone jokes is really asking us because they will put us there. We'll see if that's the case. I put that I did not want to work in a prison or any kind of halfway house. I guess if I did have to work in a place to get me out of my comfort zone, I would rather it be there now than in my concentration all year.
I've recently become interested in social work in hospitals, specifically oncology. I need to do some more research into it though. We have groups present hot topics in our Human Behavior class and last week a group did one on suburban youth. It wasn't news to me, I work at a camp with these kids every summer. I would even venture to guess that some of the stats for drugs, sex, alcohol, etc. might even be higher than those of urban youth. My dream job would be to work in private schools with these youth. But I know it will never happen, because these rich kids don't have any problems, right?
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